Category: black metal

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The 12 Best Funny Heavy Metal MEMES Of All Time

black metal Olympics heavy metal meme

It’s time to lighten the mood on this blog while still keeping it heavy! I’m talking about heavy-metal MEMES! Here are the top 12 that we know of right now! This post is constantly updated with the MEME pictures, so check back once in a while!!

Like Funny Metal MEMES? Let’s get started at #1…

1. The Cannibal Corpse MEME

You have to have somewhat of a morbid sense of humor I truly appreciate that one, but it gave me a laugh!

Next up?

2. Death Metal Dating

death metal dating meme

Heavy metal isn’t known for hot chicks. I can understand how dating some girl who claims to like death metal is: I’ve been there before. LOL

3, Marry Had A Little Lamb?

4. The Black Sabbath MEME

Black Sabbath heavy metal meme

While far from being in an unknown band, Black Sabbath never got the level of respect that the Beatles had for Led Zeppelin as British rock royalty.

I doubt they care!

5. The Faces of Death Metal MEME

faces of black metal heavy metal meme

On this one, you have to understand the reference. It is a lampoon on the documentary “Faces Of Meth” which chronicles what people look like before and after methamphetamine use. As you can see, death metal is a gateway drug to court paint and just for a less harmless.

6. Death Metal Gardening

Death Metal Gardening MEME

7. Jeff Hanneman and Kerry King at McDonald’s

It’s a classic metal meme with Jeff Hanneman and Kerry King chomping some burgers before a show. You may be metal, but not half as much Slayer’s guitar team.

8. Heavy Metal Politics Meme

9. Vic Rattlehead vs 5 Finger Fruitpunch

10. The Metallica “St. Anger Drum Sound” MEME

11. King Diamond Nuns Have No Fun

12. Megadeth Fans vs. Metallica Fans vs. Iron Maiden Fans

I had to include this one just because you know it is true!!

That’s All For Now

Sometimes, it’s tough to be brutal when your mom wants you to work in the yard! You might smear your corpse paint!

That’s all for now; check back later when we publish our next list.

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Everything You Wanted To Know About BATHORY “THE RETURN” 1986, But Were Afraid To Ask

Quorthon from Bathory band photo

How On Guy From Sweeden, Some Lawnmowers, and Poor Production Became A Template For “Real Black Metal” Sound

The Return (of the Darkness and Evil) was the second album by the Swedish black metal “band Bathory”. Bathory was not a “band” in the true sense of the word. Bathory was “the Foo-Fighters of black metal”. Quarton played every instrument, including drums. The Return was released on May 27 1985.

I can remember listening to “The Return”. I was like 13 and still lived with my parents. I was scared I was in the presence of Satan; my Catholic guilt made me hide the album under my bed. The Return later spawned a slew of copycat bands, especially in the Norwegian “true black metal” scene.

Band Photos (Even Though There Was No Real Bnd)

Listen On YouTube

FROM MY PLAYLIST OF METAL BAND THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN BIGGER
THE FULL BATHORY “THE RETURN” LP

“The Return” Album Cover

BATHORY – “THE RETURN”

Tracklist

Side ‘Darkness’

1.”Revelation of Doom (Intro)” -3:27
2.”Total Destruction” – 3:50
3.”Born for Burning” – 5:13
4.”The Wind of Mayhem” – 3:13
5.”Bestial Lust (Bitch)” – 2:41

Side ‘Evil’

1. “Possessed” – 2:42
2. “The Rite of Darkness” – 2:05
3. “Reap of Evil” – 3:28
4.”Son of the Damned” – 2:48
“Sadist (Tormentor)” – 3:00
5.”The Return of the Darkness and Evil” -3:49
5. “Outro” -0:25

quarchon from Bathory
Quarton from Bathory

Art Work and Inner Sleeve

Who Was Actually In The Bathory Band

Many people don’t know this, but Bathory was a one-man band. Hence, the lack of live performances over the years. For some odd reason, other musicians credited even though Quarton himself played guitar, bass, drums, and did vocals. It is quite apparent when you listen to that album, as you can hear the tempo-shifting in the drums.

  • Quorthon (Thomas Börje Forsberg) – guitars, vocals, additional bass guitar, production, recording, mixing, album cover design
  • Andreas Johansson – bass ??
  • Stefan Larsson – drums ??

The Bathory Production Sound

This is style of raw production was copied by Bands like Darkthrone, who wanted that “scary” lo-fi in the first 2 Bathory albums. Quarton would later admit that this was not by design. He said the album sounded that because of “lawnmowers passing the studio and a poor budget.”

The Death Of Quarton

Quarton died of a heart attack on June 7th 2004, in Stockholm, Sweden. Although never confirmed, drug use was suspected to be a contributing factor. He was 39 years old.